My fears...can you understand?

Every time I got hurt,
I got upset,
Got dissapointed,
Got scared,
There is this wall built up its own..

Whenever those scenario happen,
It built up, make me stay one step away from it,
The wall built up every each time my feelings got the fear,

I built it up.. and a big step away from them...
Whenever I am one step away, I feel lonely..
I feel that nothing is real..
It just another dream, another nightmare...

This is why I don't take promises seriously,
Because once it broken... The piercing is really hurtful...
Its tired, promises never been long... and I never long for it..

Every time I try to break off the wall,
Even a little it scared me out..
Every single time when I prepare to break it..
Even just a little... I already know its not real...

Every time, before I have the chance to break the wall...
Alarm will be ringing... telling me the next moment is not safe..
And end up i got no chance to break it to anyone..

Although the wall make me stronger...
Protected me enough..
But it also separated me from the world as well..
It makes me lonely.. that i want to cry my heart out..!

I wanna get in touch to the world..
Yet am afraid of the pain...
World is beautiful when you didn't get involved,
It turns ugly when you wanna be part of it..

Can't you see...
World are scary as it were...
Facts never changed..
It always remain there...

This is why i never want to break the world that protecting me..
Never willing to open to anyone..
Never want to show anyone to my peaceful yet lonely world..
Never want to understand anyone..
Never want to be understand by anyone as well...

The fears,
Have me sleep in nightmare and destroy my dreams,
Created my hell separate me from heaven,
Show me sorrows that never fade ,
Leave me a wound that never heal,
Born me devil and get rid my guardians,
Lastly,
It have me cry myself to sleep and wake up with a broken truth.

This is why I never want to sleep at night..
Yet never wish to wake up in the next days...
I wish I have a long sleep.